Saturday, July 24, 2004
Coming Home
For those that have never had the feeling of coming home, it is a very hard to describe feeling. For me it was a warm feeling of belonging. This is something I had never really felt until one day in March 1995.
I had only been out of the wacko ward for a few days and still had feelings of depression, even though I was under medication. I had spent nearly all of my 44 years, to that point, looking for that feeling of belonging and here I was going to my third 12-step meeting in five days. To me this was the last time I would go to one of these. I had not seen or felt anything to change my mind about them and really didn't want to get clean of drugs or alcohol. I just wanted my life to change.
This meeting was different than the first two that I attended. The people here were laughing and joking and having fun. They hugged and accepted everyone, even me, with open arms. As I heard their stories and suggestions throughout the evening I began to feel different. I began to feel as though I had come home. These were people just like me. I felt as though I had come home. I got that warm fuzzy feeling deep down inside and I knew I wanted the kind of life that these people had. I knew that I belonged with these people.
They taught me, over time, how they got to be this way and told me that if I wanted what they had, then I had to do what they did. I have been following their way of life ever since and have never regretted doing it.
Instead of depression, I now have a purpose in life. I am happy with my life, even though things don't always go my way. I learned to live. After all these years I had finally come home.
I had only been out of the wacko ward for a few days and still had feelings of depression, even though I was under medication. I had spent nearly all of my 44 years, to that point, looking for that feeling of belonging and here I was going to my third 12-step meeting in five days. To me this was the last time I would go to one of these. I had not seen or felt anything to change my mind about them and really didn't want to get clean of drugs or alcohol. I just wanted my life to change.
This meeting was different than the first two that I attended. The people here were laughing and joking and having fun. They hugged and accepted everyone, even me, with open arms. As I heard their stories and suggestions throughout the evening I began to feel different. I began to feel as though I had come home. These were people just like me. I felt as though I had come home. I got that warm fuzzy feeling deep down inside and I knew I wanted the kind of life that these people had. I knew that I belonged with these people.
They taught me, over time, how they got to be this way and told me that if I wanted what they had, then I had to do what they did. I have been following their way of life ever since and have never regretted doing it.
Instead of depression, I now have a purpose in life. I am happy with my life, even though things don't always go my way. I learned to live. After all these years I had finally come home.
Dana Megyesi 8:47 AM